I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
