im holly from the hills drunk
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
