Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
