I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
