my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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