Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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