Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
