i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
