please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
