Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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