weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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