naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
