yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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