I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just threw up on my dentist
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
