I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
