"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
