I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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