He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
