so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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