Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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