Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
