I want to have your abortion
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
