Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
