it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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