chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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