i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
