It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
