...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
