I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
