3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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