if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
