Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
