Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
