I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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