So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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