dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
