There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
