wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
