so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
the raccoons are back...
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