People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
