My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
