nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
