my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
