how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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