you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
