mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
