So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
