U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
