the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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