video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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