I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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