dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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