You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
