I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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